Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
