I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
