Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
