Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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