I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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