I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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