I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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