Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
