So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
