My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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