i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
