Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
