morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
