I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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