Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
