It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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