don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
