So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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