I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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