Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
