it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
