im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
