I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
