Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
