I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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