i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
