what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
