if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
