your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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