I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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