i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You may now shotgun with the bride
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
