why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
