Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
