i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
