You smell like a Billy Joel song
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
