just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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