new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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