I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
