I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
