Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
