he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
