I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
