We're facebook friends in real life
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
