Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
