Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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