did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
