If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
