i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
