I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
