Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
