i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
