Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
